I’m supposed to die today.
I’m not too concerned about it. I just hope I don’t meet my maker the same way James F. of Ohio did. He got run over by a bus. Helene R. of Texas fell into an open manhole. She’s dead. Then there’s poor old Fred W. of Montana, his wife backed over him while pulling out of the garage.
They all met their unfortunate demise because they broke the chain.
Exactly 7 days ago, I got a chain letter. I was surprised that I got one, as I thought these things were replaced by the Nigerian lottery winner email. The instructions were simple, if I sent a copy of the letter along with $1 to ten people by today, great fortune would come my way thanks to Padre Pio who is known for “miracles.” If I didn’t, I would end up like poor Jim, Helene and Fred.
I’m not sure who the “friend” was who was kind enough to add me to the chain, but thanks for the buck. With the price of gas every little bit helps.
Now I’m not a superstitious guy, but when you invoke the name of some Christian Padre to an Agnostic, the room does suddenly get a little warmer.
I blame it on all those years of parochial school.
I tossed the idea around of keeping it going, if just for shits and giggles, but I decided to tempt the hand of fate and throw it away. After all, chain letters (with money involved) are illegal and are considered as unwelcome as a neighbor selling Amway.
Chains have been around for as long as man has been looking to defraud people by invoking the fear of death. Send some money, escape death, make the man at the top of the scheme rich. Their longevity can be credited to those foolish enough to believe in them and keep them circulating.
In my case, I broke the chain and I’m ready to meet whatever the hand of fate has in store for me today. But I’m pretty sure I’ll be here tomorrow.
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Now, onto the mail (chain letters have been deleted):
From email: I have a Facebook page and Twitter for my eCommerce store but I’m hearing more and more about Pinterest. Do you think we should use this form of social media too?
I’m not entirely sold on the value of Pinterest. Could it be a flash in the pan? A passing fancy? A boon or boondoggle? The photo sharing phenom is taking the Internet by storm and has quickly climbed the ranks to be the third most popular social media network, with Facebook and Twitter being 1 and 2. The site allows users to “pin” their online favorites to virtual pinboards and share them with their friends and followers. Many eCommerce stores are getting their products pinned and shared which results in sales. At this point, I would recommend giving it a shot – you’ve got nothing to lose! Pin some of your best selling products and see if you generate some sales from it.
From email: This might sound like a silly question, but I think you would know the answer. The use of the term “Internet” in print (online or otherwise) – should it be capitalized?
“Internet” is a proper noun, so it should be capitalized in all usage. According to Wikipedia: “In its generic sense, internet is a common noun, a synonym for internetwork; therefore, it has a plural form, and is not capitalized. In its specific sense, it is a proper noun, and therefore, without a plural form and traditionally capitalized.” Some, like my 9th grade English teacher Mrs. Moore, may argue this but I always capitalize it.
From Facebook: I enjoy reading your blog, but noticed you’re blogging less frequently. Is everything ok?
Wow, glad to see “someone” cares! Have no fear, my bowel movements are regular even though my posting frequency isn’t. I’ve been busy taking ballroom dancing lessons in preparation for Dancing With the Palm Beach Stars, but I’ll be back on schedule soon! Thanks for noticing.