A few years ago I signed up with a company that rewards me with airline miles if I fill out a survey or two a month. Not bad considering I have a ton of miles sitting over there waiting to be transferred over.
Yesterday a new survey arrived with the usual questions.
Do you take a fiber supplement?
Do you suffer from constipation more than three times a week?
Have you ever taken a towel from a hotel?
Back that truck up, Sally.
Have you ever taken a towel from a hotel?
Before I answered, I had to think about that for a moment. With the NSA tracking 75% of what we say online, I was worried that an affirmative answer may alert to Hilton my HHonors status would be revoked.
When it was acceptable to smoke anywhere you wanted to, ash trays went missing from hotels around the world only to find their way into the living rooms of American’s everywhere. When our penchant for stealing glass etched with the Holiday Inn logo was squashed by the non-smoking in public coalition, we set our sights on linen.
Admit it. Tucked away in bathroom is a towel you pilfered from the last hotel you stayed at. If you look closer there’s probably a bar of soap, a bottle of shampoo and my personal favorite – a sewing kit – that mysteriously made the journey home with you.
I know if I take a look around my homes, I’ll find a towel from the Four Seasons, some shower gel from Disney World, a washcloth from Oceania Cruises, a plethora of assorted bars of soap, and even though I don’t have any hair, some shampoo from the Bellagio.
A friend of mine once told me the story of how he managed to pilfer a down comforter from a Ritz Carlton.
I would never be that bold.
I’m not exactly sure why we feel compelled to take something from a business, but we all do it! Perhaps stuffing a towel in your carry-on is the equivalent of giving the corporate beards the finger for charging you $495 a night for a noisy room in an outdated hotel.
Dinner at my father’s house would not be complete without napkins from McDonalds on the dining room table.
Napkins! Who steals napkins?
I’d rather go for the ketchup packets, since we’re being honest here.
While I don’t have any thrilling stories of great conquests like the down comforter, I did answer the survey question honestly. Why the question was there in the first place is a mystery to me. Perhaps it was included to inflict some form of shame. Maybe it was there to cause one to do some soul searching. Or, it was there to solicit a laugh amongst the participants who just answered questions about bowel habits.
I tend to think it had to do with the latter.
I know after I answered it, I felt a sick feeling in my stomach for admitting I was a thief, which resulted in me running to the toilet. When I was done with the task at hand, I washed my hands and dried them off on a hand towel belonging to the Marriott.
This may be worse than I thought!