Comcast is a hot mess.
This is the cable monopoly who is looking to create an even bigger headache (and even bigger monopoly) for consumers by merging with Time Warner.
I have had my share of run-ins with Comcast and have blogged about them here and here and here only seem to get any type of resolution with them by doing just that. Their social media guy will usually catch my post and have an “executive support” person at headquarters in Philadelphia call and resolve the issue.
It’s unfortunate that it has to come down to this, but when you provide your customers with a level of service that makes customer’s teeth itch, it’s about all you can do to get issues resolved.
Like they say, the louder the Comcast customer screams, the quicker the execs want to stick a pacifier in their mouth to shut them up.
With my house in Pennsylvania up for sale, it was time to turn off service. That, plus they raised my rates by a number that made my rectum hurt worse than having 40 feet of rubber hose shoved up it, without any form of lubrication, during a colonoscopy.
Once I made it through the cancellation process I had to make a trip up to the Keystone State to collect the CableCARDS from my TiVo units and return them along with the cable modem to the local office.
Not a big deal.
I gathered up all the equipment, modem and eight CableCARDS.
As the representative at the counter in the Duryea, PA office logged my returned items and removed them from my account, she said, “you still owe us a CableCARD.”
“Impossible!” I shrieked.
“Possible.” She replied.
She wrote down the number of the CableCARD on my receipt: PKBBBZSVD
Looking at the numbers of the other cards, I noticed something was askew. All the other CableCARD had a series of numbers that were all random, except one which had a very similar number. So similar in fact that the only difference was the last letter, a P instead of a D.
I explained that there is no way I could have nine CableCARDS, as it would make no sense in relation to the number of TiVo boxes. I pointed out that it would seem to me that when someone activated these cards on my account, they entered a wrong card number, left it on my account and never removed it.
To have random generated card numbers match with the exception of the last digit, which can easily be misinterpreted as a P or a D, is just very coincidental and an obvious clerical issue.
The friendly rep behind the counter told me there is nothing she can do, but I would have to call 1-800-COMCAST and tell them the story, give them the card number and have them research it.
Ok, no problem. I don’t want to get whacked with a bill, like I just did, for unreturned equipment that never existed.
So today I was feeling a little sadomasochistic, so I put on my best leather harness and dialed up Comcast ready to enter their own seven gates of hell, their customer service department.
With paperwork in hand, I dialed 1-800-COMCAST and this is how things went:
Thank you for calling Comcast, home of xfinity.
[SOMETHING IN SPANISH]
For quality and training purposes, your call may be monitored or recorded.
Thank you. Please hold while we process your call.
Please wait.
Please hold while we continue to try to connect your call.
Welcome to Comcast, home of xfinity.
[SOMETHING IN SPANISH]
For quality and training purposes, your call may be monitored or recorded.
For account verification, if the last four digits of your account phone number are 3957, press 1.
[I PRESSED 1]
Ok, I found your account. Now it will just take a few seconds to pull up your information.
Main Menu.
For trouble with your service, press 1.
For balance or account information, press 2.
[I PRESSED 2]
There is a past due amount of $126.88 due on January 1. This includes any recent or pending payments or credits applied to your account.
To repeat this information, press 1.
To make a payment, press 2.
For the closest bill pay location, press 3.
For questions about your bill, press 4.
[I PRESSED 4]
For questions about your first bill, press 1.
If you upgraded service and your bill is different than what you expected, press 2.
All other questions, press 3.
[I PRESSED 3]
For account verification, please enter the last four digits of the primary account holder’s social security number.
[I ENTERED THEM]
Please hold for a customer account executive.
To help us improve service, we’d like to get your feedback. If we can contact you back within 30 minutes of this call press 1, if not press 2.
[I PRESSED 2]
Please hold.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
[CALL IS TERMINATED]
My call was terminated three times in a row, not by my own choice. Having gone through the press this, enter that, tell me what color underwear you’re wearing today, menu of options three times, I wasn’t going to do it again only to get cut off.
Instead, I sat down and wrote yet another blog post about the type of customer service that give companies like Comcast a bad rap.
Honestly, who wants to go through these various menu options once, yet alone three times and have a call get terminated?
Nobody.
So it’s off to @ComcastWill, Will Osborne, the guy behind the @ComcastCares Twitter account who has to deal with complainers like me every second of the day. The @ComcastCares account used to be manned by a guy by the name of Bill Gerth. Looks like Bill has gone up a floor or two at Comcast’s Philadelphia headquarters, either that or he took far more abuse from customers than one person can handle and the execs gave him his own office complete with padded walls and a nice paycheck every week as a form of recovery. Whatever the case may be, I’m hoping that @ComcastWill can step in, like Bill did in the past, and do two things:
- Call 1-800-COMCAST and navigate through that cluster-fudge like I did and experience at least three call terminations before proceeding to number 2.
- Have someone call me, so we can get this clerical error fixed, my account credited, and put this issue behind us.
I will promise you one thing @ComcastWill, I won’t hang up on anyone when they call.
And neither should Comcast.