"There's Something About Fall." Or, "Dead Leaves, Dark Nights & Big Hair."

There’s something about fall.

The green leaves that fluttered in the cool spring and summer breezes turn to a blaze of orange and brown in an annual ritual that many flock to the northeast to get a glimpse of. It’s a sort of viewing/funeral for plant life.

As these colorful remnants flutter to the ground, the landscaping professionals rake in the last of the seasonal wealth as they rake in the mess the trees leave behind. As leaves pile up in the streets they make driving hazardous on rainy days as they block up storm drains leaving an accumulation of water ripe for hydroplaning.

There’s something about fall.

The warm, sunny days once full of warm breezes are pushed aside by cloudy, rainy ones with winds out of Canada rushing daytime temperatures down some 20 degrees and plunging the nighttime air close to freezing.

Homeowners rush to turn on the heat for the first time forgetting to open up a few windows as all the dust that has accumulated in the ductwork suddenly burns and fills the house with an acrid smell. The dry, forced hot air that is blown throughout the house this time of year leads to dry skin and even drier nasal passages.

There’s something about fall.

The long days of summer, with the nighttime sky still somewhat bright until 8:30pm, are gone. The only thing lighting the sky that late at night are streetlights and a harvest moon.

Workers leave the office at 5pm only to drive home with their headlights on. When they reach their humble abode, the power company thanks them for lighting up every room in the house four hours earlier than they did in July pushing up their electric bill and raising the company’s stock price in the 4th quarter. Meanwhile the government mandates that we push our clocks back one hour in a ritual more outdated than a Leisure Suit.

There’s something about fall.

The cooler weather that is now part of the daily forecast has a profound impact on residents of the northeast. Much like the geese that make their annual trek south for the winter, the elderly population of the tri-state area make their retreat as well.

Those who had their plastic surgery last winter in Boca are jetting back down from JFK to get a “touch-up” lift or a few extra injections of Botox before they’re “seen” out and about at the over 70’s mix and mingle at one of the country clubs.

Lines at restaurants in South Florida will start to get longer, especially if you eat dinner at 4:30pm and go to bed by 7. Big hair will suddenly make it’s reappearance on beaches and in casinos accompanied by an accent only heard a few months out of the year.

Yes, there IS something about fall and I just can’t put my finger on it.