So, Domino’s ran a promotion on Uber Eats that seemed too good to be true: order $9 worth of food, and get a medium two-topping pizza for free. Sounds like the kind of deal that makes you immediately grab your phone and start planning your perfect pizza feast, right? After all, Domino’s is no stranger to great offers. Their ongoing “two or more for $6.99 each” deal and the occasional $7.99 large pizza pickup special have set the bar for affordable indulgence. But as anyone who’s ordered delivery through Uber Eats knows, “free” often comes with an eye-watering price tag.
Since I wanted to see just how insanely expensive this free pizza was going to be, I threw a $12 order of wings into the cart and smugly added the pizza. I braced myself for a reasonable total. But when the checkout page loaded, I had to blink twice and rub my eyes—$26! And that didn’t even include a tip. Throw in a few extra bucks for the driver, and that “free” pizza would have cost over $30! So what exactly is going on here? Let’s break it down.
The Breakdown of ‘Free’
First off, there’s the $1.49 delivery fee. Not bad, right? Except that’s just the appetizer of fees. Then comes the mysterious $4.50 “small order fee.” This one is especially head-scratching because you did meet the $9 minimum. It turns out, this fee is applied when your subtotal is less than $17 because apparently, delivering food under that price is too much of a burden on the restaurant. Domino’s seems to think your $12 wing order isn’t worthy of their time, so they slap on a penalty fee, or as Uber Eats calls it, a “small order fee.” Charming.
Then there’s the real kicker: a $6.13 “marketplace fee,” which is essentially Uber Eats saying, “Hey, the restaurant is delivering this food instead of our drivers, so we’re charging you for that too.” This fee is 19% of the subtotal, and it’s conveniently tacked on without any real explanation other than the fact that Uber Eats is involved at all.
The Art of ‘Free’ Pizza Economics
Let’s take a moment to process that. This “free” pizza has come with enough fees to buy another pizza, and you haven’t even tipped your driver yet. How does that work? Are these Uber Eats fees hand-delivered by a pizza-loving leprechaun with gold dust in their pockets? Probably not. But people still go for it, and that’s the craziest part. It’s like we’ve collectively agreed that paying outrageous fees is normal.
If this were a heist movie, Uber Eats would be the bandit who pulls off the perfect crime in broad daylight. You see it happening in real-time, yet somehow, you feel like you’re in on the deal. But let’s be real: a $4.50 small order fee? A 19% marketplace fee because Domino’s is delivering its own pizza? These fees are the equivalent of legal robbery. And the worst part is, we just keep hitting “confirm order.”
To make matters worse, when you order Domino’s through a 3rd party app, you don’t earn rewards points that can be redeemed for a TRUE free pizza. So there’s more being taken out of your pocked besides $12 in fees.
Would You Pay $30 for a Free Pizza?
So, here we are, wondering why we all keep falling for this free pizza trick. The promotional allure is strong. Maybe we’re just too lazy to pick up our own pizza. Or maybe we’ve accepted that getting food delivered comes with hidden costs, even if those costs are equivalent to an extra-large pizza on its own.